Maroon Couch

I realize that I’m getting older each and everyday I find something that annoys me.  These things aren’t purposefully directed at me but influence me.  I do know one thing, when I get old, I’m going to have fun.  I will be the old man who speaks his mind on a regular basis.  I will pretend to fall asleep when I’m tired of talking to someone.  I have other ideas but for the sake of not feeling any older I will continue on the original subject.

Car Alarms.  I think car alarms should be sold with the same merit guns are.  You need to prove that you know how to work one before installing it on your car.  On my street daily false alarms go off in regularity multiple times.  It’s not just the same people either.  You should have to earn a special certificate to operate or you deserve to have things stolen from your car!

Passing Cars in a 30mph Zone.  Congratulations, you beat me to the red light!  Are you kidding me?  People will race to pass you in a slow mph zone just to slam on their brakes at the same time you APPLY your brakes at a red light.  They seem so proud as they glance over with a stern look on their face.  I love to roll to a halting stop with a big smile on my face.  

If we are the first cars in line while waiting for the green sign to go I will pump my brakes a little easing my way closer to the “starting line.”  When it turns green the peel out once again racing in an imaginary Indianapolis 500 and I simply continue to smile.

Reality Show Commercial Breaks.  Maybe the following is what I get for being sucked in to watching these shows.  Maybe.  But it won’t keep me from speaking my mind.  So a commercial is coming up.  You know it is because the scene comes to a close with a small fade out.  The host of the show then begins to narrate, get this, the upcoming scenes!  That’s right, “Just ahead we will see how. . .”  

Ok fine.  I will give you that because some people have a short attention span.  Upon returning to the show, they show the last 2 minutes of the show before they faded out and right before the narration of what was just ahead.  

There are more Grumpy Old Glyndon moments as my friend Deje kindly started calling me “Old Man” on my 30th birthday.  I will hold on to those for future moments that are just ahead!