Maroon Couch

Happy, Awake, Excited, Talkative People is not just a title for a post.  It’s the description of an army of insane people looking to destroy the world one morning at a time.  They wake up before their alarm clock can go off at 5am and when their head rises from the pillow there is a smile on their face.  They are wearing smiley face pajamas and start the day off in song.  I had smiley face boxers I slept in at one time.  The faces were smiling when I went to sleep because I love me some SLEEP!  When I woke up the faces were frowning and mad because I hate me some morning.  

I know God made us all different and I’m just glad He made me a night person.  I would hate to be a morning person that all the night people hate and post about after they have insulted their start of a new day.  I don’t even eat breakfast I hate mornings so much.  If you know me then you know I’m a lover of all things food and I want nothing to do with it in the AM time.  I would rather have 5 or 10 minutes of sleep and avoid the morning as long as possible.  

So back to the army of insane people looking to take over the world and change our time management to exclude the hours of 10pm – 3am.  It’s fine that you like mornings.  It’s great that you have decided to start your day off with a smile when I can barely use all the muscles in my body simply to stand let alone smile.  I just think that I shouldn’t be able to tell you are a morning person.  

I have encountered these people frequently at Starbucks early in the morning.  Like the AM loving lady that worked the window at Starbucks in Selma.  ”Good morning how are you doing today?”  I was unaware a pre-requisite to ordering coffee was to share with a stranger the attitude and feeling you are having at a particular moment.  I chose not to share and ordering my special coffee, Grande Marble Mocha Machiato stirred.  ”Oh, that’s a really good drink.  I haven’t had someone order that drink in a really long time.”  No question, just a statement.  So, instead of not responding to the previous question I decided to see if I could hurry along the process with an “Ok.  That’s all.”  See how I tried to avoid her next question that I knew was coming?  It didn’t work.  ”Would you like a tasty pastry (they rhyme too!) or a breakfast sandwich to start your day this morning?”  She’s lucky there were two cars in front of me that were holding my position to right in front of the speaker and mic box.  ”No.”  ”Your total is $3.85 at the window.  Let’s see if we can make this day just a little better for you.”  

Hmmmm.  I don’t carry cash.  Ever.  I have never prayed down the Heaven’s so early in the morning like I did that day in the Tahoe.  I needed cash.  In fact I needed exact change.  I was afraid of what type of conversation she would try to have face to face now that a microphone and speaker didn’t separate us.  I FOUND $3!!  IN THE ASHTRAY!  Unreal.  Seriously.  

Now the counting of change including mostly nickels and pennies with a few dimes.  God answers prayer!  $3.85 exactly.  Now the plan was to act calmly securing the drink in my hand first and foremost, much like a hostage situation.  The exchange would be key in handing her the money just as she handed me the coffee and my foot released the brake.  I was so focused!  She was saying something but I simply kept my eye on the prize.  I did it.

The next question would be how I managed to get coffee every morning without having this problem every single day.  I had a friend Phil who started working the window in the mornings and he knew me by my drink order and flagged me up to the window no problem.  

This morning I walk in and this guy was talking to EVERYONE!  Same question.  SAME QUESTION!  ”What’s the most common name in the world?”  Sneaky huh?  Not, “Do you know what the most common name in the world is?” which would only require a NO.  Muhammad is the answer and he seemed to be pretty amazed as he turned from one person to the next and these people must have been night people too because none of them answered his question.  They each answered with a Bob, Jim, David.  I almost screamed out Muhammad but was afraid of the consequences of yelling that in a Starbucks as people might fear for their lives.  

Ok.  I’m done now.  I’m not a morning person, but that’s Just Me.