Filed under: It's Just Me
On a Monday night I find myself scoping out the news channels and internet news sites to make sure I don’t start Tuesday off with news of another noteworthy death. This past week was insane like two hits** shy of a no hitter type of odds kind of deal.
An hour and ten minutes to go and all is safe. I’ve been working on this blog and a new website for quit sometime now. I’ll just tell you about it so you can know my intentions when I fail to produce either in another three months.
Maroon Couch will be a website/blog dedicated to my love for Texas A&M sports and my desire to talk and write about it anytime.
I realize not everyone shares that same dedication to the team I love or the desire to read about my team. That’s why I’m going to continue to blog about the crazy thoughts swirling around in my head on a new blog from me to you.
So, until that gets done just continue to dream about what that will be like and try and contain your excitement. Until then R.I.P. (run in place) while R.I.P. (research in progress) is taking place on my end.
**I say two hits instead of one hit because the Astros are in San Diego for a four game trip. When the game came on I told Chasity I should’ve gone to the game. Roy Oswalt was pitching and made it through the 1st inning without allowing a hit. I told her that if he pitches a no hitter I was going to be ticked! He gave up two hits and a run scored on a wild pitch as her reply of what are the odds of that after the first inning came true.
caution, the shift key was not used in the writing of this post
the good stuff ain’t free. the cheap crap is free. the kind of stuff buy one get 10 free specials are made of in business. you won’t walk into best buy and find the best deal on the good stuff. you will find the best deal on the merchandise that needs to be moved out of the store. that may be one of the reasons i hate coupons. sorry kate gosselin. chasity does good with coupons and ends up saving us some bucks by clipping paper with scissors. chasity had a coupon for buy one get one free sirloin burger from mcdonalds. i didn’t want a sirloin burger. i wanted a quarter pounder. the last sirloin burger i had at a fast food joint ruined it for all the drive thru establishments.
i have been selling fireworks since i was twelve or thirteen years old. most recently as a fundraiser for the church i was working at in san antonio. we had coupons and great specials. no great deals on the good stuff, the cheap crap you bet. the ad draws you in with buy one get 10 free. you are excited and pumped only to find out the special only pertains to chickens, pop pops, and punks. ..no..there aren’t any funny jokes that i haven’t said or heard while spending july and december selling fireworks..
the good stuff isn’t free and neither are the tough things. tough ain’t free. jack bauer isn’t free. this cat comes at the expense of some serious terrorist threats or crazy campaign against americans on north american soil. jack black is free. i love jack black. movies, tv, commercials, talk shows, i’m all over it. i even watched be kind rewind. but bauer power? that’s the real deal. i’ve seen keifer sutherland. i’ve rarely seen jack bauer except for the show. he doesn’t come out much. he’s serious.
serious tough kind of good. kind of like the kids who got to do the puppets in children’s church. those guys were never seen when it was puppet skit/illustration/song time. you would look around to see if the older kids liked the show as much as you did only to find that they must not think so, they were gone. after the show, right back in their seats smiling bigger than their face can stretch. same person?
how many times did god have to repeat things to the boneheads wandering the wilderness because they had blown the chance to walk in and check out the new digs of the promise land? using hailey’s response to the question, ‘how many times have i asked you to stop doing that.’ ‘a lot.’ she’s right and you’d be right if that was your response. i believe the verb ‘to hear’ is found 100 times in deuteronomy. these people couldn’t even handle ten house rules. they were even instructed to write them down, put them on their foreheads, hide them in their hearts, teach them to their children. they make me look good. o, i guess, they just make me look human.
being tough is listening. getting the good stuff is found in following directions. not just hearing loud and clear but doing taking the time to follow the directions to a t. the satisfaction behind the action of successfully completing a task is huge. are you wandering in a wilderness kicking the dirt while waiting to enter the new place. want to speed up the process. get busy doing and then get busy enjoying.
Filed under: Glyndon's Goulash
Some new things are coming to Maroon Couch. There are some new posts waiting for you to read so just be patient. I will let you know soon!
And this is what I said to Chasity as I told her good night. ”I do know what I KNOW.” I’m not sure that there is anything else I could be more proud of than those few words right there. I have a headache. I’m this close to drilling a hole in my head to release the pressure and make everything all better. (That’s the only thing I can say or describe to explain the way my headaches feel. It seems to make sense.)
It’s 9:21 PM and I should go to bed. But, I know what I KNOW. I know that I would just lay in the bed and toss and turn. While this is an easy 2 calorie a minute workout, it’s one I’m going to pass up.
I know that Lost is recording right now and when I’m done typing this joker up it’s on baby.
I know that I bought U2’s new album for $3.99 today from amazon instead of $17.99 on iTunes. I know that the first song I heard was plain awful. I know that the second song made up for it.
I know that I don’t use that stupid microwave cover in the microwave to cover my food to protect from splatters. Sometimes I push the thing over and set the item in need of a nuke right beside the clear plastic lid. Sometimes I pick up the lid and set it on the counter.
I know that if they sold Aleve by the bottle in a convenience store it would cost $71.64. That would be for a 36 count based on the $1.99 they charge for two pills. I also know that I would pay up to $79.00 for a bottle if they did in fact carry the awesome shaped bottle of pain reliever medicine.
I know that I don’t like the Cowboys. Sportscenter is on right now and for the past 7 minutes all they keep saying, showing, and discussing is Terrell Owens has been released by the Cowboys. The Cowboys could get air time by simply announcing that the organization has decided to keep their name the same for the upcoming season.
I know that I’m out of things to discuss when I talk about the Cowboys.
I know that I almost teared up while watching Macey and Hailey watch Cinderella today. Hailey started smiling at the beginning when the two birds try to wake Cinderella up in the morning. It was just awesome to watch her smile and respond to what she was seeing. I got the video camera out to capture the moment. I captured her discovering the camera, getting up from the couch, standing in front of the camera, then dancing and acting like she was speaking a foreign language. Yep, just like her mother.
Do you ever think about time and space and circumstance and the passing by of people in your personal space meshing with their personal space? If not, good! If so, dang I hate when that happens, don’t you?
We were leaving Hailey’s speech class one day. One of the Mom’s of another little girl in speech with a different teacher but same time meshed with our personal time and space. She was waiting on her daughter to get out of class and we were leaving. I said bye. Hailey said bye. Macey said bye.
Something bad happened in that small cordial exchange of farewell. When Hailey said bye, the lady said, “See you later Honey.” Oh to have a celestial vacuum cleaner suck that sentence right out of the air. Instead, no huge Hoover showed up and those words, or more precisely, that one word sunk into the brain of my child.
Mind you that all of this happened in seconds and we are walking straight ahead. As we were walking the moment Hailey heard her say honey, Hailey repeated her as if she was asking a question. ”Honey?” I thought to myself, this may be one of the first times she’s heard this word when not referencing Winnie The Pooh or bees. It’s like she was accepting the fact that you could use this word in dialogue with other people.
When we got home it was the normal schedule as usual. Nap time! Woo-hoo! After the girls woke up, it happened. Hailey turned to Macey and said, “Do you want something to drink Honey?” What!?! What just happened here. The follow up to that was, “Are you hungry Honey?” ”Awe Honey, are you ok?” ”Come here Honey.”
Cute? Yes. Cute after the 241st time of inputting the word Honey in a sentence? No.
I’m in week four of working out and eating right. What that means is I go to a gym and sweat like a pig until every muscle hurts and cries baby tears that produce ouch sounds when these muscles are flexed or used after working out. Eating right means NOT eating if anything at all. Not eating all the things that have come to be my menu of choice when it comes to food and Dr. Pepper.
I’ve lost a total of ____ pounds since starting. I’m not saying because then everyone will say, “Good job Glyndon! Keep it up!” After hearing those comments, I won’t. I will hang my success on congratulatory remarks and gain those 2 pounds back. Gotcha, I’m not easily tricked that way. It’s more than two pounds and less than 100.
Here’s what brings me to the couch today. I must talk about the goings on of gym life. It’s a crazy world let me tell you! I work out at 24 Hour Fitness like I’ve said before. Here are a few things that irritate me.
Cell Phone Use
Are you here to work out or talk on the phone? I can only imagine the conversation. ”Yeah, I’m at the gym right now working out. I know girl, gotta stay in shape you know.” Whatever. Get off the phone and get your workout done! Guys too. This guy is just talking away about plans for that night. It reminds me of Tommy Boy when Chris Farley says, “Can you point me to the gym?”
Workout Attire
I’m all for the gym making it mandatory for each member to pull a jail jump suit on over the lack of clothes they showed up to work out in. It would keep everyone from seeing too much of people. I understand that some people get a membership just for that reason but I would think we could stop that reason with the jump suit thing. Especially guys in biker shorts with nothing over them.
Jogging by the Fat Man
When I’m on a treadmill it never fails that I will attract people to the empty treadmills on either side of me even though there are 10 other FREE ones NOT beside me. Everyone likes to jog or workout next to the fat man. It makes them look better I guess. I love outlasting them on the treadmill as they repeatedly look over to see how long I’ve been running.
Time Punchers
One day this guy comes into the gym right in front of me. I head to the elliptical machine for thirty minutes and this guy is down below picking up a few weights without doing more than two reps. He spends the majority of his time looking around the gym before he leaves. I see him through the glass walking outside to his car. I finish the last 10 minutes and then head to the treadmill for 30 more. I so out did him!
Fat Guys on Weights
Come on? Seriously? You think your big belly will look smaller if your biceps are bigger? Get real. Join me on the treadmill. Let’s work on cardio for a while and then let’s hit the weights.
Gotta Wear Shades
This should be illegal! This guys was wearing sunglasses in the gym! Are you kidding me!?! Why do you need to hide your eyes? Oh, the flourescents are just too bright huh?
Could It Be. . . nah
None of these actions could be because someone was waiting on a phone call related to work as they were working out during lunch or taking a call from a family member in jail on their one call a week.
Why would they get on the treadmill next to me because they can’t get on the treadmill that has a sign that says broken on the front.
Who comes to the gym when they only have 20 minutes to spare because they are working three jobs to make it through this tough economical time?
Why would a fat guy be lifting weights on his off day from cardio because he can’t possibly run another step after putting in more than six hours of cardio that week?
Why would a guy be wearing sunglasses while in the gym after having drops put in his eyes for tests that were run on his ailing eyes that could be the result of blindness in one eye?
I don’t have ANY possible scenario for wearing NOTHING to the gym. None at all. Jump suits people!
I’m sticking to the first story of each of these “gym make me wanna puke” situations.
Four days doesn’t really seem like a long time. In fact, when you need a break 30 minutes or a Kit Kat will do the trick. If it happens to be a work break like while working at Academy in College Station, a Kit Kat was the edible object of choice most of the time.
It’s even harder to take a break when you can’t explain what you need a break from. That’s why Chasity’s Friday off fell on the perfect weekend. I can’t tell you why I needed a break. If I knew I may have just taken things in my own hands and pretended I needed longer bathroom time. So Chasity’s Friday plus the regular calendar of events that puts Saturday and Sunday right after each other worked well sandwiched between an additional day off today. Thank you MLK! Actually thank you government for deciding to remember MLK.
Friday was nice. No school drop for me since Chasity was home. She had to finish a paper so Macey and I hung out at the park. No speech drop for me since, see above. I got a chance to work out at the gym and had the time and the energy to push myself the hardest since I started working out 2 weeks ago. I topped the 1000 calories burned mark before leaving 24 Hour Fitness. To answer the question I’m sure most of you have because you are like me, Yes, they are open 24 hours. You just never know. I asked the guy showing me around when I signed up and he didn’t blink an eye. My guess is they get that question alot.
Saturday was sunny and 72 degrees. There were two options. The beach in January or long overdue patio work that includes a small amount of landscaping. Easy choice right? Landscaping. The beach is a lot of work and purely impossible to leave every grain of sand in the parking lot before you leave the roar of the ocean. Believe me, we’ve tried. We decided to push the beach trip back a weekend or so knowing there would be another Friday off in two weeks.
There’s not much of a flower bed, dirt area, place where plants can grow, the patio ends here, where the concrete and dirt meet, space. But it does exist and there are several small palms and a few trees that produce flowers that are easy on the eyes. To cover up the dirt it was time to lay the mulch that needed to be laid back in September after we moved.
The mulch of choice, Cocoa Shells. WARNING: Cocoa Shells can be hazardous to dogs if eaten. I’m not sure about cats but dogs I have been made aware can not be allowed to eat these shells. They smell like chocolate! Go figure right. So we put the shells down and Chasity plants to large planters with an assortment of flowers. Nice! The girls helped. Well, Hailey helped. Macey pulled the weed be gone screen out from underneath the cocoa shells so Daddy could redo his work. It’s all about burning calories!
Sunday is Sunday and the requires a 6am wake up call for yours truly. Not something I’m thrilled about but something that has become routine and necessary to a church plant. Sundays are always good. (Did I just lie to Macey? She brought me Chasity’s medicine and asked to eat it and I said, “No, it will make you sick.” Ok, so I know I didn’t lie but did I set up a disaster in the making when I tell her to take her medicine one day and she responds with, “It will make me sick.”) The Cardinals beat the Eagles. I was happy there because I love me some Kurt Warner! He’s the man!
We had a mini wii party with Chad and Teresa. Mark came by for some wii fun as well. The wii fit makes it all the more fun. Nothing like a few adults being competitive trying to beat the other persons ski slalom score! Chasity and I played more wii fit after our company was gone and the girls were asleep. I highly encourage bowling and tennis while in your delirious state between the hours of sleepy and exhausted.
Oh the break thing. Yeah, not so sure why it was needed or what it was needed from. I just know that it was the perfect time for a break. Nothing is more fun than laughing my hardest laugh with Chasity. Nothing. Hearing her hardest laugh on the verge of not being able to breathe is pure bliss. I think it just capped off a great few days.
Weigh in Monday is here again. Not much going on today. Just working out and the second week of weigh in Biggest Loser style. I put the scale in the parking lot and take my shirt off while I walk to the scale. I pick someone with as much talent and personality as someone on a soap opera or running their own show into the ground (Bonnie Hunt give me a break) to stand there and say, “Last week you weighed ____. You have lost a total of _____ since you arrived to the ranch. This week you lost a total of _____.” It’s embarrassing but needed. Just kidding. I can never find someone willing to say all that for a complete shirtless stranger.
Who doesn’t like a good burger? I LOVE a good burger. Whopper, Whataburger, In-N-Out, Bleunami from Islands, Carl Jr’s $6 burger, Applebee’s Jack Daniels burger, and I’m going to stop there. I’m watching my caloric intake ya know. I’ll spend all my calories on one of those bad boys.
Pretty much all the burgers listed above are your basic burger with the exception of the Bleunami. Meat, cheese, and a little bacon. That’s why I don’t understand all these crazy burger creations. The Angry Whopper? Really? A burger so hot I may not be able to finish it. Really? I’m not easily talked into trying these over the top ploys. The grilled pupusa from Taco Cabana, that’s a whole different story.
I just can’t see going into Burger King and thinking, “I don’t feel like a burger. I want a burger creation that doesn’t resemble a burger.” Oh well, that’s just me.
Now here’s an interesting story regarding burgers. Burger King is using facebook to give away free whoppers. You delete 10 of your friends and you receive a free whopper. I heard the economy was bad. If I’m deleted for a burger, I will understand. Flame broil your friends everyone!
Hello 2009! Only a day and a half old and it seems like it’s been a year since I last sat down on the couch. See what I did there? It was last year even though it was a few days ago. Ok. I understand some are smarter than others. I’m just trying to reach my whole audience.
So, what ya got for this new year? You know, New Year’s Resolution. What changes are you bringing before the new Change that’s coming hits the big White house? What physical attributes are you transforming in your mind and then later on your body? What’s the thing you are doing for yourself because only you know what you would like to achieve on a personal level in a years time? What spiritual ladder might you be climbing to reach an all time high in your relationship with God? What rung on the ladder are you climbing down on to ensure the relationship is real and not just talk and a beautiful facade of fake? What goals are written down? What dreams have been created?
Resolutions are not the solution. For me they aren’t. I have goals. I seem to do better with goals. Even in the definition of resolution one of the first meanings has the word INTENTION used to define the big word for the year. The other meanings have words like resolve, determination, and firmness of purpose. I lean to the first meaning, more of an intention than determination.
As I look at my goals my desire is to look right past them. See right through the finished project of goal attained to see beginning and failure. We all know the roots are stronger than the tree. So I’m trading in the big word for a Key Word. My key word is Discipline this year.
Discipline is what separates the good from the great. We often credit the remarkable with amazing talents and gifts and breeze by the Key Word of success, Discipline. No one sees the talented practicing, studying, working, and preparing. We just see the finished project and want to be like that in life. We definitely don’t want the practice, study time, work, or preparation that Discipline breeds.
This year I say take your instant success and fast way to the top. I’ll see you half way up as I pass you coming down as I climb past you on the way to the top.
I’m on the airplane right now flying back to California. We had a great Christmas vacation apart from being sick of course.
I must write about this latest disaster of all things human. Public Bathroom Stalls. They have locks. They aren’t hard to use. Why make it so difficult when approaching stalls and urinals? Let’s keep things simple and lock these stall doors!
While in San Antonio I unwillingly encountered Poop Man. He was taking care of business and I was needing a little relief.
Urinals can give me the creeps. You never want to hold a conversation or turn your head while occupying the oh so important tile space in front of the American Standard. There’s also the splatter concern you must account for. With those reasons being said, I first look to the stalls.
The few things mentioned above are small things I know. Locking the door behind you, hardly a small thing.
You can only duck so low when the spare tire in front is round enough to keep you from bending forward in any ab crunching motion. I saw no feet. I pushed the door open. I saw Poop Man. Poop Man saw me. Poop Man said, “I’m in here.”
Really. Really?? If you fail to lock a bathroom stall do you really need to say anything other than, “Sorry, the lock was broke.”. “Sorry, I’m new here and I couldn’t figure out the lock.”
Public bathrooms are one thing, convenient stores inconvenient bathrooms of doom are another.
Pee Man must have really needed to go. I know we all do the multiple toilet stall check. Sometimes there are more than one and there’s an excuse for more than one male to be standing in a small space together. Not me. If there’s a lock on the door and no one’s home, it’s getting locked. If it’s a onesie no debate. Door gets locked. Lock the one toilet occupying bathroom door behind you.
Pee Man fails to do so. He greets me with, “Sorry dude.”
I’m surprised someone like that apologizes. I’m shocked I wasn’t greeted with a “Come on in!”
The washing of hands is a whole separate topic. I will avoid discussing so I don’t have to dry heave right now. Let’s just say the mirror should be covered up with a sign that says WASH YOUR HANDS SICKO! until the water and soap have been touched, then revealing the mirror. The doors should be on permanent lock down with Eagle Eye approving soapy hands.
